Excerpt from COMIC BOOK HERO, by Brian Mix EXT. ANDY ANDERSON'S HOUSE - NIGHT The grey sedan is gone, as is the Camaro. ANDY Shit, Bruce took the car. JOE He just went to workout. ANDY You don't know Bruce, he'll be gone for hours. We'll take your car. JOE Not all the way to Manassas. It won't make it. ANDY This calls for drastic action. Andy walks around the side of the garage to the R.V. parking space. Joe sees a tarp draped over something big. ANDY I swore to myself I'd never use it. Andy pulls the tarp off with a voila-motion to reveal a LARGE CARGO VAN the size of a UPS truck, but this one is painted jet-black with huge golden letters "ZERO". JOE What is it? ANDY This, my faithful side-kick, is the Zero-Mobile. JOE You're kidding. ANDY My Publicist's idea. Don't let the size fool you, she's quick and full of gas. JOE Kind of like you. EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT The Zero-Mobile zooms down the highway. INT. ZERO-MOBILE - NIGHT Andy drives; Joe sits in the passenger seat navigating with the 1961 ATLAS. JOE There sure has been a lot of development here since '61. ANDY What does the atlas say was the main drag? JOE Roosevelt. Joe points to the next exit. JOE Take a left at end of that exit. EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT Andy takes the left with too much speed and the Van SCREECHES around the corner on only two wheels. INT. ZERO-MOBILE - NIGHT Joe hangs on for dear life. JOE Jesus, will you slow down. ANDY Can't you smell the chase? JOE Can't you smell the fear? Slow down, I want to get there in one piece. ANDY Come-on, side-kick Joe. Captain Zero never slows in the face of danger. Andy floors the van and it ROARS faster down the frontage road. They two adventurers look at all the boarded up buildings and closed shops. ANDY This shit-hole town sure closes up at night. JOE Most of these places look like they've been closed for years. EXT. OLD WAREHOUSE - NIGHT The Zero-Mobile screeches to a halt in front of the fence surrounding the warehouse. Andy and Joe stare dumbfounded at the sign which reads: "Ridgeway Storage" followed by the same circled 'WD'. ANDY Will you look at that! JOE I don't believe it. The van rolls slowly up to the fence and stops. Andy gets out and climbs up some fold out foot-holds to the roof of the Zero-Mobile. Joe reluctantly follows him. JOE Where are you going? The top of the van is even with the top of the fence. Andy jumps off the roof, landing on the far side of the fence. Joe balks. JOE Are you crazy? That's government property. ANDY Come on, Side-kick. This is a real Captain Zero adventure. JOE More like a real stupid way to end up in jail. Joe jumps the fence and lands roughly, next to Andy who has his fists on his hips like a pudgy super hero. ANDY (mock importance) Come, let us investigate the Purple Spider's hide-out. Andy leads as they walk to an old wooden loading dock, climb up and look through a dirty window. ANDY It may be abandoned but it's certainly not empty. Joe presses his face to the window. JOE Looks like boxes, lots of them. Maybe it's surplus. The sound of BREAKING GLASS startles Joe away from the window. He looks over to see that Andy has broken a window in a door with a two-by-four. Joe walks over to Andy as he puts his arm through the pane and fiddles with the door lock. JOE Are you insane? This is where I draw the line. I'm not going to be a part of this. Andy continues to work on the door as he talks to Joe. ANDY Don't you see this is the place where your Father went in fifty-nine. No one has been here in ages, Joe. They've forgotten about this place. With that we hear a CLICK and the door opens. Dust billows out as Andy steps in. Joe stays outside the doorway looking in. Andy clicks the light switch a couple of times. Nothing. Andy pulls a small penlight out of Joe's pocket-protector. ANDY There must be a breaker box somewhere. Andy walks into the darkness with the flashlight. Joe leans just barely inside the door, peering hard in to the darkness. We here a CRASH. ANDY Ouch, shit. I found it. Try the lights again. Joe flips the ancient light switch. It sparks as the room lights come on. INT. OLD GOVERNMENT WAREHOUSE - NIGHT Only half of the overhead lights work. They fill the huge room with an eery dead yellow glow. Joe stands mouth open, dumbfounded by what he sees. The room is filled floor to ceiling with row after row of wooden crates. Andy walks out of the small office where he found the electrical panel. ANDY Holy crap! JOE There must be hundreds of them. ANDY Thousands. Joe walks in next to Andy, his curiosity overwhelming his former trepidation. JOE If they stored stuff here, where do we start? Andy walks to a old corkboard. There are old yellow cards still pinned to it. ANDY Look, here's a map of the crates, these cards must be like claim checks. JOE Wait a minute. Joe pulls two yellow Captain Zero cards from his pocket. They have the drawings of Zero gear on the front. He flips them over and on the back is printed a series of numbers and letters that look just like the cards tacked to the corkboard. ANDY Jesus H. Christ! JOE You don't think that..? Andy grabs a card from Joe's hand and holds it up to the map. His finger traces down a long row and he stabs a spot. ANDY That's it! Row one-twelve! Andy bolts into a run down the long central row of crates. Joe trots after him. They both skid to a stop two rows down from the "110" sign, puffing from the run and very excited. ANDY Three-three-seven-two-eight, Two-nine, thirty. This is it! The two men are standing in front of a stack of three foot by three foot crates. Andy tugs on the wooden face of the crate. It doesn't budge. ANDY We've got to get this open. Joe produces an all-in-one pocket knife, pliers, and nail file from a snap-closed pouch on his belt. He deftly flips open the mini-prybar and starts working on the crate. JOE I knew this would come in handy. The crate-face pops loose at one corner and they both pull for all they're worth. The whole front side of the crate comes off and the two men fall backwards as the contents of the crate spill out. ANDY Papers? Just papers! JOE What did you think it would be? Bomb parts? Joe files through the papers and finds a bound file a with a cover sheet labeled "Project Krypton". He opens it and starts reading. JOE Project Krypton, top secret, eyes only, blah blah blah. Team leader Ralph Anderson. Head engineer Joseph Riley. Joe snaps the book closed. JOE This is it-this is it. This is what they were working on. ANDY Where are the rest of those cards? JOE In the van. ANDY Go get them. Wait. I've got a better idea. EXT. OLD GOVERNMENT WAREHOUSE - NIGHT The Zero-Mobile crashes through the gate, drives down the side of the building, and backs up to a loading dock where Joe is opening one of the large loading doors. INT. OLD GOVERNMENT WAREHOUSE - NIGHT Each one of Joe's Captain Zero cards are thumb-tacked to their corresponding crate. Andy opens the back cargo door of the van and helps Joe load the first crate. JOE I still don't feel right about taking this stuff. ANDY Don't worry, it's kind of ours anyway. Besides, for all we know these could be full of rubber life vests and "I like Ike" buttons. EXT. WILSON DRIVE - NIGHT A white car with yellow lights on the roof pulls up and stops at the side of the road. "IBM SECURITY" is stenciled on the door. INT. IBM SECURITY CAR - NIGHT A man in a grey uniform picks up the microphone to his radio. SECURITY GUARD Hello, Tommy, you got your ears on? VOICE ON RADIO Is it breakfast already? SECURITY GUARD No, you better wake up Sheriff Barnes. I think I got somthin' at the old Ridgeway building. DISSOLVE TO: INT. OLD GOVERNMENT WAREHOUSE - DAWN Andy and Joe have just finished loading the last crate into the back of the van. Both are sweaty and tired. They smile and shake hands as a megaphone-loudspeaker breaks the silence. SHERIFF BARNES (V.O.) Attention! Persons in the building. This is the Sheriff. Come out with your hands up. Both men freeze. Joe is terrified ANDY Jeez, it's the cops! JOE I knew it, we're done for. I knew I never should have listened to you. ANDY Now, now. What kind of way is that for a side-kick to talk? JOE Will you shut up, this is serious! There's real life cops out there. With real life guns! SHERIFF BARNES (V.O.) Come out with your hands up now. We don't want any trouble. Andy puts his hand on Joe's arm trying to calm him. ANDY Whatever's out there, we have to agree, we're too close to let them stop us. JOE What? They've caught us. ANDY Everything you ever wanted to know about your father's death is in that van. We can't give up now. SHERIFF BARNES (V.O.) Federal agents are on their way. Come out with your hands up. Now! JOE What can we do? ANDY Just promise me you're not going to let them get their hands on those crates. JOE What are you going to do? ANDY Just promise. JOE Okay, I promise. What are you going to do. ANDY This is a small town, right? Joe nods. ANDY So, there's probably only one or two guys out there. Follow me. Andy ducks down low and crawls into the back of the van, Joe follows. They climb over the crates and squeeze through the small door into the cab. Andy barely fits. INT. ZERO-MOBILE - DAWN Joe and Andy stay low in the cab. Andy peeks over the bottom edge of the passenger side window. EXT. OLD GOVERNMENT WAREHOUSE - DAWN - ANDY'S POV We see SHERIFF BARNES standing twenty feet away. He's facing the Building not the Van. Ten feet behind him is his POLICE CAR and two IBM SECURITY GUARDS. Both have their hands on their holstered guns. Their "IBM" car blocks the gate. SHERIFF BARNES This is your last chance. Give up now and there'll be no trouble. INT. ZERO-MOBILE - DAWN Andy ducks back down. JOE What did you see? ANDY Just what I thought, there's only three of them. You stay here. I'm going to go out and stall them. When I get their attention you start the van and drive like hell. JOE What about you? ANDY You drive past me and I'll jump onto the bumper step. JOE You are out of your mind. Andy squeezes himself back through the small door to the cargo bay. He pokes his head back through. ANDY Let's go side-kick, it's Zero time. EXT. OLD GOVERNMENT WAREHOUSE - DAWN The big loading door next to the van slides open and Andy slowly walks out with his hands in the air. SHERIFF BARNES Are you alo... The Sheriff realizes he doesn't have to speak through the megaphone anymore and lowers it. SHERIFF BARNES Are you alone? ANDY Yes, just me no one else, just me. SHERIFF BARNES What are you doing here, Mister? ANDY I work with the government. I'm here on official business. Andy walks closer to the sheriff as he's talking. He crosses to the far side so that the sheriff and the two security guards have their backs to the van. SHERIFF BARNES You'd better have some paperwork that says so. ANDY Oh I do, right here. Andy pulls out his wallet. The sheriff holds out his hand and Andy nods his head toward the fence. The engine of the Zero-Mobile ROARS to life and the van's tires squeal as it lunges forward. The two Security guards pull their guns as the sheriff spins, trying run in front of the Van. Andy leaps and tackles the sheriff; they fall hard. The Security guards stop tracking the van and move to cover Andy's assault on the Sheriff. INT. ZERO-MOBILE- DAWN Joe looks in the rear view mirror and sees Andy grappling with the sheriff. EXT. OLD GOVERNMENT WAREHOUSE - DAWN The van SCREECHES to a halt. Andy looks up and waves Joe on. ANDY Go! go! INT. ZERO-MOBILE - DAWN Joe huffs as he ponders his options - Then he smashes down on the gas pedal. EXT. OLD GOVERNMENT WAREHOUSE - DAWN The van lunges forward again and accelerates quickly toward the fence. The Sheriff has wrestled Andy to the ground and has his gun on him. When the two Security Guards arrive they both point their guns at Andy. SHERIFF BARNES No, you idiots, the van, go after the van. The Zero-Mobile crashes through the fence and turns onto the road. The Security guards run for their parked car as Sheriff Barnes puts the cuffs on Andy. INT. ZERO-MOBILE - DAWN Joe lets out a sigh of relief as he turns onto Roosevelt drive. Joe looks like he's calming down until the spinning yellow lights of the IBM SECURITY CAR come up behind him. INT. IBM SECURITY CAR - DAWN One of the Guards grabs the radio mic. SECURITY GUARD Tommy, he's headin' for the highway. Cut him off! EXT. STREETS OF MANASSAS - DAWN The van lurches forward again as Joe floors it. The Security men follow. The van SQUEALS around a turn; the Security car makes the turn with ease. INT. ZERO-MOBILE - DAWN Joe sees the Security car gaining in the mirror. JOE This thing drives like a tank. The van is coming to a T-intersection with boarded-up shops across the top of the "T". JOE Just like a tank. EXT. STREETS OF MANASSAS - DAWN The Zero-Mobile doesn't make a turn right or left instead Joe drives it straight through the front of a boarded up store. Glass flies and dusty furniture crumbles as the over- powered van pounds through the store and out through the back wall of the building. Airborne dumpsters precede the van onto the highway behind the store. INT. ZERO-MOBILE - DAWN Joe looks in his rear view mirror to see that the Security car has made it through the building and is now gaining. He shakes his head and suddenly notices that a second Security car is coming straight at him. JOE Oh shit! EXT. HIGHWAY - DAWN The second Security car swerves into Joe's lane. He's not going to let the van by; it's highway chicken. POV - SECOND SECURITY CAR'S DRIVER - DAWN The driver of car #2 can't see the first car in pursuit; the van is blocking the view. EXT. HIGHWAY - DAWN At the last second Joe swerves the van off the highway and into a drainage ditch. The second car now sees the first but it's too late-both cars lock their brakes and slam head-on into each other. The van swerves back out of the cement ditch and is momentarily airborne as it "flies" back onto the highway. All three slightly stunned Security guards pile out of their totaled cars and begin firing their guns at the Zero-Mobile as it speeds away. DISSOLVE TO: